Loving ourselves unconditionally is sometimes our biggest challenge. Many people think they love themselves, but it is usually based on conditions. If you will love yourself when you are thin enough, having a good hair day or lose weight, then you love yourself conditionally. If you love yourself unconditionally, those things don’t matter. Accepting ourselves just as we are is the first step to self-love.

Having feelings of love for yourself and others is critical when we fall asleep each night. Have you ever heard the saying, “Don’t go to bed mad?” That is actually good advice. The conscious mind takes a break as you sleep while our subconscious mind stays very active. Because of this, the thoughts we think about before we drift off to sleep are vitally important. Feeling love and appreciation, and having positive thoughts in those moments just before falling asleep is healthy for us. Knowing that you are good enough, loveable, and worthy of respect is key to your level of self-love. 

The more you love yourself, the easier it becomes for you to spend time with yourself and actually enjoy the silence of your own thoughts and ideas and personality. It also tells the universe that you deserve those things you desire and want in your life, and opens the gate for universe to align itself in ways that will allow you to get what you want. If you love yourself, you know that you are worthy and don’t need to prove it to anyone. To love unconditionally means it doesn’t matter what is going on in the outside world; it doesn’t matter what the situation is, we love ourselves regardless. 

Accept even those parts you want to change 

Self-love is a condition of awareness and a way of perceiving. Self-acceptance is loving yourself unconditionally and being happy with who you are now. It’s believing you are perfect just the way you are. This is not to say you don’t want to change something or improve, it simply means you love and accept yourself anyway. It’s an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept, and support who you are at this very moment. 

In addition to the brain in our head, we also have a “heart brain.” The physical heart that powers our bodies is considered another brain. The heart not only puts out its own hormones, it instantaneously communicates electromagnetic and chemical information to the rest of the body and other bodies near it. The synchronization between the heart and the brain eliminates stress and permits a feeling of well-being. 

The energy of the heart can reach up to eight to ten feet beyond us. One person’s heart signal can affect another’s brainwaves, and heart-brain synchronization can occur between two people when they interact. 

Activate your heart energy with this simple exercise 

I want to share a simple little exercise you can do to activate this heart energy. First, get into a comfortable position. Place your hands over your heart or on the center of your chest. Many people will notice they begin to feel warmth and experience a good feeling simply by doing this. It just feels good to place your hands there. 

As you breathe in through your nose, imagine taking in all the love that’s there for you. Perhaps it’s love from your children, or your partner, a dear friend, your parents, your pets, or anything that helps you feel that warm, secure, loved feeling. 

Notice how you feel as you breathe in all that love. Pay attention to the warmth and joyful feeling you have. It’s good to imagine unconditional self-love. This is good to practice, as we don’t do this enough. This exercise is also a great way to fall asleep. It may even help you fall asleep faster. Put a hand on your heart if you are having a conversation that is upsetting to you. If you are on the phone, it’s easy to hold the phone with one hand and place the other hand on your chest. 

Your action step is to practice this little technique, I call it taking in the love. This is great to do when you have trouble relaxing or falling asleep as well.


Bonnie Groessl The Holistic Entrepreneur


Bonnie Groessl is a best-selling author, podcast host, holistic nurse practitioner and success coach. Her mission is to educate, empower and facilitate your well-being while nurturing the mind-body-spirit connection. You can find links to her books, guided meditation audios, blog and podcast at www.bonniegroessl.com